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I like modern communications as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.

I’m referring, of course, to texting turning into the latest extreme sport. As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.

The world champion speed texter title recently went to Melissa Thompson of Salford, England. She reportedly was crowned the Guinness World Record holder for her ability to type a complex sentence on a Samsung Galaxy S in just 25.94 seconds.

And while some might at first glance consider this a waste of time, the sentence actually has some educational value and high-end vocabulary, so this exercise was not completely devoid of value. Here’s what the fit-phalanged Thompson typed: "The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human."

In inputting this informative text, Thompson was able to wrest the speed texting title from Franklin Page. The Seattle resident previously held the title for typing the same sentence in 35.54 seconds earlier this year.

Perhaps Page should consider moving to a new sport. May I suggest freelance walking? This activity, invented more than a decade ago by some suburban Chicago teenagers and featured on an MTV show in the 1990s, involves jumping on buildings and park benches as a skateboarder would, but without the skateboard. (Sorry fans freelance walking fans, I looked for a video, but couldn’t find one.)